The Dress

Jan had been in Bangkok approximately 14 hours when she fell prey to the city’s most common scam. That first morning, she had opened the balcony door to a stunning pink and orange sunrise bouncing off a sea of golden stupas. She was eager to visit these temples that looked like palaces of jewels compared to the sombre stone and glass she was used to. She dressed in a long brown peasant skirt and long sleeved white blouse and went to the rooftop to enjoy the complementary coffee, fruit, and a mild tea flavoured cake, marvelling that at 8:10 a.m. she could already feel beads of sweat forming above her lip.

As she sipped coffee, she looked again at her map. The night before over a meal of an omelette and spicy papaya salad, she had marked the routes she had planned to take to visit the temples of Wat Chanasankram, Wat Mahathat, Wat Pho, and Wat Phra Kaew. 15 minutes after she left the comfort of the hotel, she was stopped by a young well-dressed man, who told her with an impeccable English accent that there was a funeral for the King’s cousin and that most of the major sites were closed. He was so apologetic and lamented that there weren’t signs or information posted for foreigners.

Having neglected to do much research prior to the trip, Jan had no idea she had just become the man’s first victim of the day. So happily oblivious and feeling lucky to have met someone willing to take her on a private tour of lesser-known and less sacred sites (and for a mere 50 baht!), she eagerly climbed into a tuk-tuk with Ton.

They did indeed go to a temple, a small, quiet place where a man sat on a chair in the corner, flipping through a magazine, a few metal Buddhas placed on a table in front of him. Ton told her these were extremely sacred because they were blessed by the city’s oldest monk, so she bought two.

As the tuk-tuk zipped in and out between pedestrians and exhaust fumes, Jan tried to open every part of herself to drink it all in. she couldn’t see one thing—not a tree, sign, house, or shop—that remotely reminded her of the Midwest. The heat, the noise, and the smells were nothing like the pervasive aroma of fresh cut grass or the sound of the mowers, and the occasional rattle of a train. The sensation of being completely uprooted and placed upon another planet filled her with such unexpected joy, she realized there were tears in her eyes and her face was hurting from smiling.

And so it was with this big smile, that she entered a shop that was filled floor to ceiling with the most beautiful fabrics she’d ever seen. They made her think of temple gables, the sea, and ancient kingdoms. They shimmered and sparkled; some were bold and others were understated. They whispered exotic and shouted of royalty.

A small man with thick-rimmed glasses spoke to her, “You are an actress or maybe CEO.” She couldn’t tell from the intonation if it was a question or statement and responded a bit slowly, “Ah, no. I’m a teacher. I’m going to teach here. I mean, in this country.”

“Ah! A teacher! In Thailand it is a most revered job. A woman teacher, especially foreigner, must be dressed very respectfully.”

“Oh, but I brought a wardrobe and I’ve been told it is fine.”

Jan was starting to understand that something was expected of her and this wasn’t an excursion to see how fabrics were made.

“Then you need the special dress that you can wear on any occasion like wedding or holiday party”

Jan had only packed one suitcase for her year in Thailand, and though she had brought an assortment of mix and match skirts and blouses that were conservative and wouldn’t show her sweating, she didn’t have a “nice dress”—one that stays in the back of a closet in a protected bag until it can be brought out to dazzle and entice.

She thought about how cool she’d look at a wedding in the States wearing a sexy and elegant "Asian style" dress. It would be a unique and practical souvenir of her journey. Within minutes she was being measured and shown swaths of fabrics. Ton and thoughts of the sacred sites had suddenly disappeared. She chose a satiny pale silver with tiny intricate flowers in varying shades of colour.

She was presented with a bill and told to come back in two days. She gasped when she saw that the total was more than twice her budget of spending money that month. She’d been with the shop owner for nearly four hours so not wanting to be disrespectful, she paid the money and rode in silence with Ton back to the hotel. When he asked for triple what they’d agreed on earlier, she handed it over, silently, heart stinging.

She did pick up the dress and though it looked beautiful on the hanger, it bunched and pulled on parts of her body that it shouldn’t. She had met other foreigners who were aghast that she had fallen for the scam and she felt a fresh burst of hot shame each time she hung the dress in a new place. The dress followed her for five years and three countries, until she donated it to a charity shop when she returned home.

A few weeks later at her 10-year class reunion, still feeling the lingering effects of reverse culture shock and trying not to bore her ex-classmates with tales of her journeys abroad, she saw a group forming around a woman she didn’t recognize though she couldn’t mistake the shimmering silver that had transformed her into a breath-taking site.

“I saw it by chance. Never worn!! I got it for 10 bucks and altered it myself. I can’t believe someone gave this up. What a sucker!”

 

Art Class

It was a dazzling white winter day when Allison entered the studio to pose nude for a group of student artists. She had taken the long way through the campus to have the first look at the old oak trees and neoclassical buildings covered in a fresh layer of powdered snow. It was the winter break and most students were back home snug in their childhood beds, leaving the orphans and workaholics free to roam the post-apocalyptic like emptiness.

As Allison entered the room, she was immediately struck by a wall of heat and the smells of clay, paint, and dust. A short, wiry man in his 60s greeted her and took both his hands in hers. “Welcome. I’m Jim. We spoke on the phone.”

She had seen the ad for models wanted on a bulletin board in the English building. It wasn’t a lot of money but because she was avoiding going home for the holidays, she needed extra money for meals and drinks out with her friends who also preferred early afternoon games of drunken pool to spending time in tense family environments.

"You’ll be sitting up there,” he said, pointing to a wooden table covered in yellow flowered sheet, “and the other girl will be there,” he pointed to another table with a dark green shimmery cover.

 “It’s going to be a study in contrasts. You and Laura are as different as apples and orangutans. Now go into that room there while we set up. She’s already there.”  

Allison hadn’t realized there would be another girl and felt both relieved and terrified. When she entered the small room, the other girl had her back to the door and upon hearing Allison, looked back with her head over the shoulder, just like a painting. Long, wavy bright red hair flowed down the middle of her back and the one eye Allison could see was like a cat’s and shone a bright green. She had a wide smile and perfectly straight teeth. But what made Allison nearly gasp was the shape of her body—something she’d only seen on the pages of Elfquest. Laura was about six inches shorter than she was, with an almost grotesquely small waist, full heart-shaped backside, and when she at last turned for a proper introduction, a set of breasts that were at least a C cup.

“Hey, I’m Laura. This is great, isn’t it? Easiest money ever. I just hope I don’t fall asleep on that table. It’s so warm in here!”

“Allison. Have you done this before?”

“Sure, loads of times. Jim calls me a couple times a month. It’s practically paid for all my books this year.”

“What are you studying?”

“Double major in Business Admin and Accounting. How about you?”

“English. Not sure yet what my focus is going to be.”

“Ah. Well, you should get ready. You can put on that robe if you want but I actually find it more comfortable to just go out there and sit down and not have to take it off in front of them. Know what I mean? See you in a few!”

Allison began to undress, feeling more anxious as each winter layer was removed. She folded her clothes into a neat pile, underwear and bra hidden between her jeans and sweater. There wasn’t a mirror in the room but she brushed her hair and tried to stand up straight and strike a model pose—one hip slightly more forward that the others. She had the sensation she always had before jumping off a high dive board or the garage roof, that feeling that something beyond her control was preventing her from taking the final step off into oblivion.

Finally, mustering a confidence she didn’t feel, she opened the door and walked out. The first thing she saw was Jim’s naked body and his much too white high-top sneakers. The group of students were also in varying degrees of undress and were focused on their easels and the already posed Laura.

“Alison, we like to get nude as well to feel a sense of connection with the subject. By making ourselves vulnerable, we can tap into our id and transfer it onto the paper.  Hope you don’t mind. Now, I’d like you to wear this hat and sit in the same position as Laura. Imagine that it’s a hot, sunny day and you’re admiring the scenery in a field somewhere.”

Allison glanced at Laura and did her best to copy the pose. Legs stretched in front, arms behind for support. She looked down and saw the familiar folds of her stomach and the straight lines from her ribs to her hips. Her breasts hung off her chest like deflating balloons stuck on a Happy Birthday sign. She put her head back as if cloud-gazing and arched her back.

The minutes ticked by and she began to feel a numbing pain in her buttocks and she couldn’t feel her arms. She had started to sweat and the beads were rolling down from under her armpits. The large straw hat was itching her forehead and she longed to move any part of her body.

After two hours, Jim shouted, “Everyone, pencils down! Now, walk around in a circle and examine one another’s work. Girls, you too.” And so they walked in a slow motion conga line, Allison between a fully-clothed woman and a man completely naked save for his glasses and brown socks. After the third easel, Allison couldn’t bear to look anymore.

Most renditions of her body looked like a jumble of Picasso-esque lines and tiny triangles, whereas Laura’s figure curved and flowed like the Titian wet dream she was.

She hurriedly put on her clothes and took the crumpled $25 from Jim’s sweaty grip, mumbling a “thanks” and “bye”. He hadn’t asked her to return and nor would she have. Later at the bar, people asked why she wouldn’t take off her coat.

“Exposed myself to the elements too much today.”

 

On the List

Ryan was very open about being on the sex offenders register. He had told the story so often and in such tense environments that for the sake of everyone’s nerves he’d reduced the incident to a few sentences which sprang from his mouth like gunshots. “Met her on-line. Thought she was great. Looked over 18. She wasn’t. Parents found out. Sent to jail. On the list for life.” 

What he didn’t say was how horrible that first year had been after he got out. His hometown was so small that nearly every residence, including that of his parents, was too near a school. He rented a small trailer on the outskirts of town. When in town, parents would rush their children to the other side of the street if they saw him coming.

“So how’d you get a job here then?” asked a rather gruff fellow from Leeds who seemed a bit sceptical of Ryan’s story. They were in Thailand, a country notorious for being a magnet for pasty, sweaty paedos from the West. Though Thailand had been cracking down and weeding out potential sexual predators from the teacher pool, university positions were a little more lax.

Another of the lads chimed in, “Screwing a girl who looks like a woman—and who lied about being a woman—is definitely not the same as diddling a little boy.”

Lou, the only female at the table, had got a bad vibe off Ryan from the start. She thought he looked more like a serial killer than a paedophile, but suspected there was a nugget of badness in there somewhere.

“Don’t you think even if she were 18 that she’s still a bit young for you?  You’re what—28, 30?”

The men were silent a moment before bursting out laughing. Most of them had Thai wives or mistresses that were nearly half their age, albeit over 18.

Though Ryan didn’t say anything, he feared that Lou had a point. Ever since he could remember, he’d had a thing for girls who were likely in their last year of high school. And his favourite way to enjoy these girls was by laying down as they towered naked above him. Seeing the curves and flesh from that angle made him feel like he was floating on a river through a canyon. He remembered when he was about 9 years old and hiding under the wooden stairs that led to the basement. His babysitter had snuck her boyfriend in through the backdoor and as they stood on the stairs making out, his hand under her skirt, Ryan watched mesmerized through the gaps in the stairs as his caretaker’s buttocks moved in rhythm to his pounding heart.

In high school, Ryan wasn’t a bad-looking guy. Tall and gangly with glasses but with enough of a wave to his hair to seem mysterious. He was quiet and shy so was surprised to be asked to a dance by a girl who was as gorgeous as she was popular. They had made out heavily in every corner of the dance floor and later as they rolled around on the plush carpet of her parents’ basement floor, he asked her to stand above him naked. She laughed at first but he continued to ask, a whine creeping into his voice, until finally she asked him to leave and never spoke to him again.

The girl he’d met on-line had filmed herself for Ryan, camera at her feet, as she did various activities in the nude—dancing, working out, ironing. She’d never said it was weird or that Ryan was a freak and it was for this reason, he likely fell for her and blocked out the fact that in the videos, he could see it was a teenage girl’s room with its requisite posters and picture collages on the walls.

Ryan didn’t answer the question and Lou let it go. The other men who taught in the universities had no qualms discussing how the young women pushed the boundaries of the dress code by wearing the required knee-length black skirt but altering it so it fit their small bodies like a glove and finding white blouses so small, the buttons over their pert breasts were always seconds away from flying off. The men discussed asses, legs, and tits in the same jovial way they talked about football and rugby. But during these conversations, Ryan smiled and said nothing. He claimed to not really notice and insisted that he preferred curvy blondes, a type that was lacking in Thailand.

It was true that he really wasn’t interested in having a Thai girlfriend. It seemed like too much work, especially given his low salary. But he found he couldn’t stop looking at them. Though they were in their early 20’s, they looked much younger and they all seemed to have perfectly shaped bodies with small waists, shapely legs, and breasts that seemed would rest perfectly in the palm of his hand. Their skin reminded him of lattes and their long, black hair was impossibly soft and silken. Some of them flirted with him mercilessly, touching his arm and standing too close when asking a question.

Lou was the one who broke the news to the ex-pat group.

“I told you guys he was a creep, but you didn’t believe me!! I knew something like this would happen!”

She then began to tell them the whole sordid story of a hidden camera in his shoe and the footage gained in weekly speaking tests. He’d been caught when he left his phone in a classroom and a teacher saw an image after turning on the phone. He’d surrendered the phone and left the country immediately.

The men were mostly shocked that they’d been unable to detect such a deep flaw in a man’s character. But life went on and as they raised their classes in a toast of farewell, Lou said by way of closing the subject, “Once a perv, always a perv.”

Charlie's War

Charlie had always been a quiet, unengaged fellow, more likely as a child to sit in the basement with his Legos than watch TV or play with other kids.  The outside world and Charlie had always had a tenuous relationship, but as he grew older, he felt a burning need to get out of the skin he had grown around himself. He wanted to earn his isolation not be a prisoner of it.

So after finishing his degree in Computer Science, he packed a bag and headed to China, which he figured was as different from his Midwestern upbringing as possible. He had had a small group of friends who wished him well but seemed unfazed by his upcoming 12,000-mile journey. Perhaps because they were so used to entering and conquering so many fantasy worlds and navigating the intricacies of cyberspace, visiting Asia didn’t seem like such a big deal.

The most difficult good-bye Charlie made was to his menagerie of furry and scaly companions. Eddy Izzard the Lizard, Thelonious Chipmunk, and if forced to choose a favourite, a fluffy ginger cat named Einstein. Charlie loved his three pets more than the three humans who also shared his home, and with whom he rarely spoke.

Charlie booked a room in a hostel next to a canal in the old part of Nanjing. He had his first meal in a noodle shop, relishing the simplicity of water, chicken, and noodles. He had subsisted on Tony’s frozen pizzas and Lipton iced tea all these years and imagined this was his new local equivalent.

On his third day, he wandered into an open air market. Above hung a multitude of opened coloured umbrellas, giving the narrow and poorly lit laneways a festive feel. Small stalls sold pirated DVDs, others live fish and turtles in giant Styrofoam containers. One stall only sold belts, another stationary, and in between were baubles, fresh fruit, vegetables, and herbs. Charlie looked at all the wares with mild interest until something stopped him dead in his tracks. So still and motionless was he that several people bumped into him.

Before him were stacks of cages, five high and three deep of various animals, each cage containing at least ten small creatures—kittens, puppies, rabbits, ducklings, and guinea pigs. He knelt down and tried to look the rabbits in the eyes but they seemed too lethargic to meet his gaze. One brazen kitten with matted grey fur began to squeakily beg, his siblings (or distant cousins) barely lifting their heads before nuzzling back into the heap of fur. So crammed was the cage of tiny felines that it was difficult to make out whose limbs belonged to whom.

Charlie felt a sharp stabbing sensation in both his chest and gut and in a few seconds was able to imagine the entire life of the kittens with no fresh air, no chance to run and play. He couldn’t allow himself to imagine their fate if not sold and wasn’t entirely sure what their fate would be if they were.

Next to the cages a middle-aged man sat in a plastic chair, smoking and looking at his mobile. He didn’t greet or acknowledge the foreigner as tourists didn’t usually buy pets on holidays. Charlie stood and realized he was shaking. The man didn’t look up from his phone, which further elevated Charlie’s anger. He had a sudden urge to grab the man’s throat and squeeze as hard as could. Having never felt a pull towards violence, he felt a sudden urge to escape and quickly walked away. It was a sweltering hot day and though not a heavy drinker, Charlie longed for a beer and made his way back to the hostel and its bar.

On his second beer, he tried to rationalize that his indignation was a by-product of his privileged white upbringing and that the trading of animals was just business. Why would a country that still hadn’t secured the rights of all its human citizens be advanced enough to be worried about its animals? By his fourth beer he had googled and contacted several animal rights groups that existed in Asia. The eloquence of his impassioned pleas surprised him and he briefly wondered if he had made a mistake not delving into a field involving the written word. After his sixth beer and not having received any replies, he began drinking whisky and developing a plan. He called it “Operation Furdom”, which momentarily put him into a giddy and giggly state.

What happened upon the implementation of Operation Furdom he would later describe as glorious and the closest he ever felt to God.

The Merchant of Cruelty (as he called him) was deeply engrossed in a conversation with a seller of cell phone covers, so didn’t notice Charlie clumsily opening all the cages. Though many of the animals were too weak or dazed to grasp the situation, a good many of the creatures sprinted from their tiny cells.

They masterfully dodged the shoppers and shop owners, who for a variety of reasons, tried to catch them. They wiggled out of hands and disappeared into cracks and crannies that seemed improbably small. People shrieked and shouted and the man worked frantically to stuff the shyer and stupider animals back into their cages, cigarette still dangling from a grimace. He briefly looked at Charlie, who hands in pockets, swayed and grinned at the mayhem. The man shouted, the words sounding like nothing more than barking.

The next day as he headed to the train station to begin a 24-hour journey south and away from the crowded cities, he saw something perched on a crumbling wall. As he neared, he became more certain that it was the grey kitten, who a day earlier, had begged him to do something. Though the cat hissed at first, he allowed himself to be petted before jumping down the other side of the wall and disappearing into a laneway without so much as a backward glance.

(Note: This story is based on my experience of seeing these pet stalls in Nanjing. I wrote a non-fiction blog about it here.)